I’m sure that everyone reading this has heard on the news about all the suicides occurring recently across the country by teenagers which were victims of homophobic bullying. In case you haven’t heard about the suicides, the first one was Billy Lucas, a 15 year old from Indiana who hung himself on September 9th. Next was Seth Walsh, a 13 year old in California who hung himself on September 19 and died in the hospital on the 28th. The next we have 19 year old Tyler Clementi from New Jersey who felt compelled to jump off the George Washington Bridge on September 22nd. Lastly, was Asher Brown from Texas, another 13 year old who shot himself on September 29th.
Everything about all these situations is so horribly sad. Even sadder is that these are just the four that made news headlines. There are others, I’m sure, that just didn’t get mentioned nationally. I was reading about these tragedies online and found this video:
Some other statistics I came across that I find interesting are:
~ Gay Teens are 4 times more likely to attempt suicide than their heterosexual counterparts.
~ For every successful suicide, there were 20 failed attempts by other teens.
~ In Utah, Suicide is the 8th leading cause of death.
~ Utah males commit suicide four times as often as females.
~ Utah has ranked in the top 10 states with the highest rates of suicide for over 20 years.
This past weekend was the 180th semiannual General Conference for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. General Conference consists of four 2-hour church meetings over the course of the weekend. On Sunday, October 3, 2010, to a live morning audience of around 20,000 and millions more watching via satellite broadcast around the world, a saddening message was spread. Elder Boyd K. Packer, the President of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles (the LDS modern day equivalent of Jesus’ 12 Disciples) gave a speech explaining that gay people can overcome same-sex attraction (Mormon Leaders have a difficult time using the word Gay or Homosexual) through the power of the Priesthood (the supernatural power given to worthy males of the faith). Further explaining his stance by stating that God doesn’t make mistakes, he believes that clearly those feelings homosexuals have been experiencing since childhood are tools of Satan. He went on to say that people who are activists for legalizing same sex marriage are advocates for legalizing immorality.
Many have said that Elder Packer is a homophobic bully using his power and authority to promote a hateful view. I think those words are a bit harsh. Yes, he’s a leader within the LDS Faith, so we can assume that his views are not exactly pro-gay. Unfortunately, I don’t think he fully thought through the aftermath that may come in the wake of his sermon. Having grown up within the LDS faith, I can personally attest to the self-loathing experienced as a direct result of the words spitting forth from the Church’s Salt Lake City Headquarters. At the time I was experiencing all the turmoil resulting from the hatred I felt toward myself, I was told I suffered from ‘Depression.’ I have since come to disagree with that assessment, I suffered from Oppression. I developed a deep seeded detestation for myself because I was constantly reminded that I was sinful or wrong for experiencing feelings that I didn’t choose and couldn’t control. I think this speech was incredibly untimely, given the increased awareness of suicide resulting from anti-gay bullying. The words he used were mean spirited and the meaning behind them could easily have been delivered with more tact and with a loving rather than condemning tone. To quote the Executive Director of Affirmation: Gay and Lesbian Mormons, David Melson, “We see no potential for good coming from his words and much possible damage, to the church, to individuals, and to families. The LDS Church should be a source of love, compassion, and conciliation, and not of fear and unfeeling petty hatred."
There will be dire consequences resulting from this speech. Will there be successful or failed suicide attempts? Perhaps an innocent child or two will be kicked out of their family home, no longer welcome. Maybe a teenager listening in will take this as his/her right to bully another innocent gay teen to death. No one knows yet what the full outcome will be, but certainly there will be grief and further self-loathing experienced by many. Hopefully, that grief can be further avoided if people take some time to educate themselves, their family, and their friends on these types of issues. The American Psychological Association and American Psychiatric Association have both concluded that same-sex attraction is normal and that “reparative” therapy – like the kind being advocated by the Mormon Church – is unhealthy and harmful. Furthermore, Same-Sex Marriage does not advocate immorality; it promotes monogamy among same-sex couples. Regardless of whether or not the government (or the LDS Church) acknowledges a relationship, the relationship will happen nonetheless.
Elder Packer’s words are incredibly interesting to me in light of other words uttered by past Mormon leaders. President Gordon B. Hinckley served as Prophet of the Mormon Church from 1995 until his death in 2008. During the time he served, Larry King asked him directly if gay people are born that way, he can be quoted as saying, “I don’t know. I’m not an expert on these things. I don’t pretend to be an expert on these things.” Apostles Jeffrey R. Holland, Dallin H. Oaks, L. Tom Perry, and even the current Prophet, Thomas S. Monson have all made statements indicating the church does not deny the possibility of a biological factor, even going so far as to state that ‘same-sex attraction’ is a result of biological, chemical, and environmental factors. Did I miss something? Was there some miraculous breakthrough in scientific research proving that there are no biological factors at play in the development of homosexuality? Perhaps these breakthroughs are only available to privileged people such as Boyd K. Packer.
I would also like to point out the hypocritical position this puts the church in. Back in 2008, the Church Headquarters issued a letter to be read to the California congregations, urging them to use their ‘means and time’ to promote the Yes on 8 Campaign. Ultimately, this resulted in California successfully being the first state in history to unconstitutionally allow the people to vote to remove a right from a minority group. Of course, the Gay community all over the country was outraged over this. There were protests in every major city from Los Angeles to New York. Eventually, in an attempt at a truce, the LDS Church issued a statement in which they backed the Utah Common Ground Initiative (a series of laws which would provide certain rights to same sex couples). Now, a leader comes out and outright states that laws of this kind are promoting immorality. This seems a bit hypocritical if you ask me, but as Ambrose Bierce can be quoted, "Hypocrisy: prejudice with a halo.”
My friend Braidan Weeks recently changed is status on Facebook to state: “Learning to love someone regardless of the "choices" they make or the person they become is Christ's true challenge [for us]. We need to love and guide one another. We should never force anyone's hand … or let fear, hate, and shame darken our light within. I'm not telling you to accept me but to allow me to live my life in love.” Braidan beautifully put to words the exact feelings I hold within my heart. My mother and I have often discussed this very topic. Some people would argue that being gay is a challenge to see if someone loves God enough to endure a life of solitude … Maybe they’re right in the thought that being gay is a challenge, but I’d argue that the true challenge is to see if people around us can love us unconditionally. Yes, we have differences. No, we don’t fit into the mold of ‘normalcy.’ Yes, we are LOVABLE! The question I’d like to ask here is this: If the test is, in fact, to love unconditionally, will you pass?
I want to close this blog with a few more inspirational videos. The first one I saw on CNN regarding the bullying problem. I feel the message, while sad, is empowering. Ellen DeGeneres is a modern day hero! After that video, I’ve posted a few songs with lyrics that touch on these issues:
JoJo ~ Exceptional
You're beautiful but you don't know
Can't see what's there inside your soul
Always feeling like you're not good enough
You wish you could be someone else
Sometimes you just can't see yourself
But I can see just who you are, who you are
You're exceptional the way you are
Don't need to change for nobody
You're incredible, anyone can see that
When will you believe that?
You are nothing but exceptional
You never think you measure up
Never smart or cool, or pretty enough
Always feeling different from all the rest, oh
You feel so out of place, you think you don't fit in
I think you're perfect in the skin you're in
You're just perfect just how you are,
just how you are, yeah
You're exceptional the way you are
Don't need to change for nobody
You're incredible, anyone can see that
When will you believe that?
You are nothing but exceptional
If you could see the one I see when I see you
You'd know how lucky you are to be you
I see through into you
And you are
You're exceptional the way you are
Don't need to change for nobody
You're incredible, anyone can see that
When will you believe that?
You are!!
You're exceptional the way you are
Don't need to change for nobody
You're incredible, anyone can see that
When will you believe that?
You are nothing but exceptional
Scott Alan ~ Blessing (Performed by RJ Helton)
I'm taken aback by allegations:
-I've misdirected my life
-I've changed, I'm a different man
-How I love ain't right
But I only wish, you'd understand
Who I love is exactly, what God has planned
Just try to remember...
That I'm still your baby, your blood, have your eyes, have your smile
I'm sorry this hurts you, I'm sorry this numbs you
But I'm not ashamed of this fire I've inflamed
I was given this gift to love from heaven's hands
Don't abandon me now for loving another man
All I ask is in time, you'll give me your blessing
I know deep down you love me, I could use that love right now
I know time heals the hurting, I just hope you'll come around
Cause I'm finally proud to state who I am
Your close-minded thoughts won't leave me condemned
And I'm sorry this hurts you...
But I'm still your baby, your blood, have your eyes, have your smile
And nothing has changed here, I'm still the same
You taught me to love with my heart, I still do
I was given this gift to love from heaven's hands
And I know this is not the life you had planned
But I ask that in time, you'll give me your blessing
Cause I couldn't remain living inside this lie,
Every day that I did more and more of me died
I'm just here to remind you
That I'm still your baby, your blood, have your eyes, have your smile,
I'm sorry this hurts you I'm sorry you're wounded
But I'm not ashamed of this fire I've inflamed
I was living this life for somebody else,
Now this is my chance to live life for myself
All I ask is in time, you give me your blessing
Give your blessing
Your blessing
Tim McGraw ~ One of These Days
Used to chase that boy home from school
We called him frekled-faced, red-headed fool
He was different...he wasn't cool like me
Sticks and stones didn't break any bones
But we never left well enough alone
And one day he ran away from home, you see
And I passed him as he walked away
And in his eyes I heard him say
One of these days you're gonna love me
You'll sit down by yourself and think
About the times you pushed and shoved me
And what good friends we might've been
And then you're gonna sigh a little
Maybe even cry a little but
One of these days you're gonna love me
Patty Sue was a small town beauty
I took one look at her and had to pull her to me
Lord knows she should've seen right through me
When I promised her the world
But at 17, you only want one thing
I left her standin' with my high school ring
Innocent tears in the pourin' rain
As I walked away
And I still see her in my dreams
And to this day she's whispering
One of these days you're gonna love me
You'll sit down by yourself and think
About the time you turned from me
And what good friends we might've been
And then you're gonna sigh a little
Maybe even cry a little but
One of these days you're gonna love me
Now everybody stands up
The congregation sings
It's a song of sweet forgiveness
And as the chorus rings
The wind blows clear my memory
The pages start to turn
Then suddenly I'm singin'
The moment that I learn
One of these days I'm gonna love me
And feel the joy of sweet release
One of these days, I'll rise above me
And at last I'll find some peace
Then I'm gonna smile a little
Maybe even laugh a little but
One of these days I'm gonna love me
Monday, October 4, 2010
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
